


Killian’s Twilight

by 15ekaytert887



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Captain Swan - Freeform, Crossover, F/M, Fluff, Love, Reading, Romance, season 4, twilight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23421814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/15ekaytert887/pseuds/15ekaytert887
Summary: Killian is bored out of his bloody mind. Emma is gone for the week and now thanks to David, Killian has a broken ankle and NOTHING to do. That is, until Ruby gives him one of her favorite books to read...
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Killian’s Twilight

**Author's Note:**

> *nervously scratches behind my ear* So um I somehow got to thinking about the fictional characters that I have fallen head over heels in love with over the years (Middle school: Edward Cullen, High School: Jack Kelly, College: Killian Jones) and this came out... I hope y’all give it a chance despite everything. Takes place during those couple weeks between 4a and 4b

Killian was bored out of his bloody mind. 

Emma had taken Henry to New York for the week to finish retrieving the rest of their things that they had left behind when Killian had hastily escorted them back to Storybrooke several months prior. They had to sort through what they needed to take back with them and make the necessary arrangements such as going about selling the apartment as well as getting Henry’s school records for when he transferred back to the Storybrooke school. 

Killian had offered to go with them, not wanting to spend a the long week without his Swan (especially so shortly after she had finally accepted his affection for her and let him into her life) but Emma had told him that with everything else that had happened she wanted to spend a few days bonding with her son. Plus Killian couldn’t cross the town line and they both knew it. He could tell that Emma felt guilty about their new relationship, feeling like she was ignoring her son and being a bad mother every time she opted to spend time with Killian, just the two of them. (That was absurd of course, his Swan was an excellent mother and growing lads needed some time on their own. It was only natural and heathy.) However Killian had of course understood and had agreed to let her go without him.

The day that her and Henry were scheduled to leave Killian had met them in front of the Charmings loft. Killian saw that Henry was already in the car playing some infernal devise and that his Swans parents were nowhere to be seen, (probably having already said their goodbyes upstairs.) So Killian didn’t feel at all badly about pulling Emma into his arms and giving her a kiss of such force and passion that it was definitely much more appropriate for his secluded room at Granny’s then out on the Storybrooke sidewalk. However, Killian didn’t care. He needed his Swan to know how much he loved her without having to say the words (knowing saying it out loud so soon would only scare her off.) Killian knew his Swan very well and he knew that at some point in her and her sons venture, she would most definitely panic and consider (if not even outright decide) to stay in New York for good and not come back to Storybrooke at all. Killian needed to imprint the memory of his love into her very soul so that she would remember him and hopefully hold on to it in those moments of panic. 

“What was that for?” Emma panted heavily, her eyes dazed when Killian finally found the strength to wrench his lips from hers. He held her body tightly, flush with his, his forehead resting against hers and his hand stroking her cheek. 

“Just an incentive for you to return.” Killian tried to tease with a smile but his eyes and voice still held their intensity. 

“I will.” Emma said shaking her head and rolling her eyes with a laugh, obviously trying to deflect from the intense emotion she could see burning in her pirates eyes. Killian looked at her, then slowly slid his hand from her cheek to her hair, tangling it in his fingers. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers again. 

“Please, Emma.” He breathed out, his voice think with emotion. He needed her to take this as seriously as he did. She had to understand how much he needed her to return to him. 

“Hey.” Emma said as she reached up and cupped his cheek, rubbing her thumb over his scar. She waited until he opened his beautiful blue eyes. “I‘ll come back. I promise.” She said more sincerely this time as she looked deeply into Killian’s blue eyes. 

This time Killian saw the serenity of her words in her beautiful green eyes. The walls he fought so hard against no longer there, at least not at this moment, and it made his heart sing. He smiled leaned forward and gave her one last sweet and loving kiss. Holding her face in his hand delicately, as if she were a precious treasure (and to him, she was.)

“Good.” He said after pulling away. Emma smiled at him as he repeated her own words to her in much the same way she had the last time she left Storybrooke. But this time was different. She wasn’t being forced to leave this time, and she would be back—back home— in less than a weeks time. 

Killian finally let her go and he stood aside so that she could get into her yellow bug. He stepped around the car to the passengers side and tapped his hook on Henry’s window. The boy looked up from his device and rolled it down so the pirate could speak to him. 

“Have a good time in New York lad.” Killian said “Be good for your mum. Be sure to take care of the both of you and make sure you don’t return from the city without your her.” He teased lightly at the end. Killian saw Emma simply roll her eyes and shake her head again at his request but she still had a smile on her face. However Henry had an understanding gleam in his eye that told Killian he knew that the pirate was quite serious about the request. 

“Don’t worry she’ll be safe with me.” Henry said, smiling at him. Killian just nodded in thanks before stepping away from the yellow vessel. 

“See you in a couple days.” Emma said brightly as she pulled away from the curb and off down the road. Killian watched them for a long time until Emma turned a corner and was out of his sight. 

Killian sighed. His chest filled with worry. “She’ll come back.” He heard someone say. He turned around to see David standing behind him, his arms crossed, and his own brow furrowed. Eyes also focused on where Emma’s car had just disappeared around the bend. 

“Aye. I would go and find her again if she didn’t.” Killian said to the prince, eyes still trained on the spot Emma’s yellow vessel had disappeared. “I’ll always find her.” He added softly. 

The words came out so quietly David wasn’t sure if he was supposed to have heard them, or if the pirate had even meant to say them at all. David turned to Killian giving him a hard look, assessing his words, as well as the man who had said them. It was obvious from the expression on Killians face that he had no idea of the significance of what he had just said. 

Killian didn’t know what the prince was looking for as he eyed him seriously. So he simply returned the prince’s gaze with a determined look of his own. He knew that his Swans father had obviously heard what he had said and he wanted to let the man know just how deeply Killian had meant it. He wasn’t backing down. Not with Emma. Not anymore. He could, would, and had followed her through time and space to remain at her side. Despite the dangers constantly thrown at them and despite the fact that she hadn’t always wanted him there. Killian would always do whatever he had to to be with her (including going and hunting her down again in New York if he had to) and the prince had better start accepting that. 

David finally seemed to find what he was looking for in the pirates face and nodded at him. Then he sighed, his body relaxing as her stuffed his hands into his pockets. “With Emma gone it’s going to be hell at the station. Would you mind helping me out until she gets back on Saturday?” He asked looking over at his friend. 

Killian was a bit taken back by the mans request (did the prince of the bloody Enchanted Forrest actually just ask him, a pirate, to help enforce the law? Killian honestly didn’t know whether to be honored or insulted. He had been making large strides in his way to redemption, but he was still a pirate at heart after all.) However after only a mere moment of contemplation, Killian agreed and said he would do his best to help the man with his deputy duties until Emma returned. 

However Killian now wished he would have said no to the request because now he was stuck in bed with a broken bloody ankle. 

It had been the very next day that he and David had been traipsing through the woods, trying to find Archies dog Pongo who had run off. Killian had groused that this was hardly the job for a renowned and feared pirate captain, but David just laughed and reminded him that he had offered the prince his services and that this was the job. It wasn’t always chasing after villians hell bent on destroying the town. It was just as much if not more, breaking up bar fights, giving traffic tickets, and helping people who’s pets went missing. 

Killian was not a clumsy man, however he was much more accustomed to a life at sea than he was traipsing through the bloody woods (even after all the times he had done it with Emma.) He apparently handnt been paying enough attention to the path in front of him because his boot snagged on a root and Killian fell, almost crashing face first into a tree. 

“Bloody HELL!” He shouted as pain tore through his foot and lower leg. He tried, but he found that he couldn’t move his foot. 

“You okay?” David asked hurrying over to him worriedly. 

“Fuck! No.” Killian snarled, once again trying to move his foot and finding how much it hurt when he did. Definitely broken. He thought looking to his ankle in disgust.

“Hmm, looks like you tripped on a root and broke your ankle.” David said crouching down to examine the damage. 

“Aye, mate. You’re a bloody genius figuring that one out.” Killian snapped but the prince had only laughed “Will you just help me the fuck up?” Killian asked, still angry and honestly, embarrassed. David carefully leaned down and helped support the pirates weight as he freed himself from the forest floor. 

“We’d better get you to Whale.” David sighed as he wrapped an arm around Killians waist and helped him limp towards the car. Luckily they weren’t far from the road. The frustrated pirate only sighed and nodded his head in thanks as a reply. 

As the men had both suspected, Killian had a broken ankle. The good news was that it meant he had to stay off his feet and didn’t have to help Dave with sheriffing any more. The bad news was that Killian had to stay off his feet and he couldn’t do anything. 

Whale had set his ankle and told Killian to stay off of it until it healed. David helped him exit the hospital and drove him back to his room at Granny’s. He once again helped the still frustrated and embarrassed pirate up the stairs and into his bed. Killian collapsed into it, exhausted from all that bloody walking. He then finally thanked his friend with a sincere handshake as nod of the head. David had simply smiled and told Killian to call if he needed anything. When he left Killian pulled out his phone and pressed the Emma button. 

“Hello?” He heard his Swan answer on the first ring, making him breathe a sigh of relief. Hearing her voice was already pushing away the frustrations and worries of his bad day. 

“Swan,” he breathed a smile quickly spreading across his face. 

“Hey you. I was wondering when you were going to call. How are things going in Storybrooke? I know my dad mentioned he asked you to help him out at the station while I’m gone.” Emma asked, and Killian notes that she sounded happy to hear from him. 

Killian chuckled “Aye love, that he did. Only if it wasn’t for that then I wouldn’t currently be confined to a bed with strict orders to stay off my broken bones.” He laughed, finding humor in the situation now that he was hearing Emma’s voice again. 

“Your what?!” Emma yelled into the phone angrily “You’re hurt? Are you okay? What the hell happened?! Why didn’t my dad call me? Why didn’t you call me? What’s going on? Is there another threat? I can be back there in 7 hours, 6 if there’s light traffic—“ Emma went on. Her savior wheels obviously already turning in her head about how exactly to vanquish whatever the threat turned out to be. 

“Love calm down. It’s nothing like that.” Killian cut off her ramblings with a reassuring tone. “I merely stumbled in the woods this afternoon whilst with your father. My boot got stuck in an infernal tree root and I broke bloody ankle.” He grumbled a bit at the last part. 

Emma laughed, instantly calming at his words. “Aww, my poor baby.” She said laughing again to both Killians amusement and irritation. At least his Swan no longer sounded upset. “Does Captain Hook need me to kiss it and make it better?” Emma continued to tease him. 

“Careful, Love.” Killian growled “Bloody bad form to tease a broken man. Especially when you’re not here to follow through.” Emma just laughed again. 

“Sorry,” she said sweetly “I promise I’ll fix all your boo boos and then some once I get home.” Killian practically could hear her salacious smirk through the phone. 

“And just how would you do that my love?” Killian asked his own voice lowering seductively. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Emma purred teasingly an amused smile still evident in her voice. However the sound of the familiar words went straight to Killians cock. Gods, he wanted her. She had only been gone a day and he already needed her again. How was he supposed to get through an entire week? Well, he had one idea...

“Perhaps I would.” He repeated seductively, hearing Emma’s voice hitch at his tone and the memory. “What are you wearing?” He asked In a dark seductive voice. His Swan was getting him wound up and he could practically feel the sexual tension through the phone. He needed her, badly, and if this was the only way he could have her at the moment he would gladly take it. 

However Emma’s laugh broke the tension “I can’t do that right now, Henry’s in the room.” 

Killian sighed and fell back on his pillows “Bloody tease.” He groused, but there was no real bite to his words. 

“Yep!” Emma laughed again and this time he laughed with her. “Hey I have to go, we’ve still got a lot to go through.” She said and Killian wasn’t sure if he was just imagining the reluctancy in her voice. 

“It’s alright Love, I understand. The sooner you take care of things there the sooner I’ll have you back in my arms again.” He said to her lovingly “And the sooner I’ll be back by your side where I belong.” 

Killian heard the slight stutter of Emma’s breathing and he hoped his words hadn’t pushed her too hard. He waited for a sarcastic comment or rebuff from his Swan but she surprised him when she offered neither.

“I can’t wait.” She said softly and it was at that moment that Killian realized that his Swan just might one day love him too. “Ok well, let my parents know if you need anything. I’m sure they’d be more than willing to help you out in any way while you’re stuck in bed.” She said to him. 

“Aye, love I will, thank you.” Killian said “And say hello to your lad for me.” 

“I will.” 

“Goodnight Swan. Dream sweet, my love.”

“Night Killian. I’ll call you when I can.” And with that she was gone. 

Killian sighed and placed the device on his side table. He grabbed the bottle of pain killers David had left for him there. He pierced the bottle open with his hook and quickly swallowed several of them down before turning off the lamp and falling asleep. 

When Killian awoke the next morning with a dull throb in his ankle. He quickly took more pain meds and then looked about his room, suddenly coming to the realization that for the first time in 3 centuries he had absolutely nothing to do. No monster or crocodile to chase. No treasure to pillage and plunder. No ship or crew to command. And of course, no Emma. Even worse, Belle had closed the library for the week, wanting to spend some quality time with her new love interest, so Killian didn’t even have the option of helping her with her research or finding himself his next novel to read. Not that he could walk anyway. Also Granny’s didn’t have TVs in their rooms, so although Killian had never understood this worlds fascination in the infernal magic picture box, he didn’t even have that option as a distraction either. 

Like he had said. He was bloody bored. He had only be awake 20 minutes and he was already bored out of his mind. His life had never been idle. There was always something to do aboard a ship or other pleasurable activities he could loose himself in. However there were other pastimes he had enjoyed during the brief idle times whilst he was at sea and one of those was reading. 

Killian has always loved to read. Liam had taught him how as a very young lad and the Royal Navy had introduced all the various types of books there were to read in the world. Killian had the pleasure of reading stories and novels of all genres; adventure, romance, mystery, comedy, poetry, as well as books on subjects such as magic, languages, art, history, culture — if there was a subject out there, Killian had certainly read about it. 

However at the moment Killian didn’t have even a book he could loose himself in. He had returned his latest novel off in the slot at the Library doors the other day before meeting David at the station. He’d give anything to have it back now, even if he had already finished it it would at least be something to do. 

Killian had been glowering at the ceiling, considering his predicament for that last 15 minutes or so when he suddenly heard a knock at the door. Killian looked up in time to see the wolf girl, Ruby, saunter into his room with a take out bag and two cups of coffee from the diner downstairs. “Special delivery for Captain Hook.” She smiled wolfishly at him, handing him the paper sack and one of the coffees. 

“Thanks lass, but I didn’t order anything.” Killian said looking at her a bit confused. 

“I know you didn’t, Emma did.” Ruby said her wolffish grin only getting bigger as she plopped herself down at the end of Killians bed and took a sip of her own coffee. “She wanted to make sure that you were taken care of now that you’re an invalid. Even if it is temporary.” She said with a smirk. 

Killians heart constricted at the thought of his Swan wanting to make sure he was taken care of even though she wasn’t there to do it herself. He had not been taken care of by anyone and in any way in a very very long time. He briefly remembered a time before his mother had died when she would tuck him in and sing him to sleep when he was sick. But Killian wasn’t sure if that had ever even happened, or if he simply conjured it up to compensate for his own miserable childhood. Killian looked within the bag and saw his usual breakfast order inside. His breath stuttered at his Swans caring gesture. 

However as happy as he was, Killian didn’t want Ruby to see the just how much this simple gesture meant to him. The wolf girl already took far to much pleasure in his and Emma’s relationship as it was. Always there with a pointed look and scathing comment about how good a wolfs hearing is whenever they came downstairs to the diner for breakfast after spending the night together. 

“Thanks, Ruby.” He said instead, taking a large sip of his coffee and then tearing into the styrofoam container of eggs, sausage, and hash browns. 

“No problem.” Ruby smiled at him salaciously. “Anything else I can get for you, Captain? Emma wanted to make sure you had everything you needed.” She said rather pointedly, winking at him. However Killian had long ago come more than used to Ruby’s constant flirtations. She did it with everyone to the point that the pirate wasn’t even sure if she meant anything by it anymore, it was simply how she talked. 

“Actually, is there anything to read in this place?” Killian asked taking another bite of his breakfast. “I don’t want to bother Belle and ask her to open the library just on my account. Especially considering I can’t even get down there if I wanted to.”

“Hmm,” Ruby thought aloud taking another sip of her coffee before continuing “Granny does keep a bookshelf in the front hall for guests to borrow from, but I don’t think there’s much there.” She confessed. Then she got up and stode out of the room with nothing more than a quick “I’ll be back.” thrown over her shoulder. Killian barely had the time to to get another bite of his breakfast and sip of coffee before Ruby returned. “Here.” She said tossing a thick book at him.

Killian put down his coffee on the side table and picked up the book to examine it. It was black and thick. At least several hundred pages. At the speed that he read and the lack of anything else to do, it would hopefully keep Killian entertained for today and part of tomorrow at the very least. On the books cover was a picture of ghostly pale hands holding a shiny red apple. The silver lettering at the top read ‘Twilight.’

“It’s a romance about vampires and werewolves and stuff.” Ruby said. Killian looked up at her and raised his eyebrow. “I read it during the first curse and kinda got hooked. I guess I was really drawn to the idea of a werewolf love story.” She admitted with a shrug. “Anyway, It’s the best reading material we’ve got unless you want to read the refrigerator manual or possibly the scrabble dictionary.” She said with another shrug. “I re read it after the curse broke. It gets a lot of stuff wrong but it’s still entertaining enough. At least it’s something to do other than sit in bed and stare at the ceiling.” She finished, a knowing grin spreading across her face. 

“Aye, lass, you’re probably right about that.” Killian chucked “I guess I’ll give it a go. I really am in need of a distraction. I don’t enjoy just being idle.” He admitted.  
“Although I’m not sure if this’ll be enough to suffice. I’m down for the count until my savior gets home to heal me.” Killian said to her. Ruby’s wolffish grin just grew larger at Killians words and the pirate suddenly realized he had referred to Emma as his Savior and not just the Savior. He could feel a slight blush crawling up his cheeks and he nervously looked away, scratching behind his ear as he did so, embarrassed. (It didn’t matter if it was true. It was still not something he had meant to say, least of all to the wolf girl.)

“No problem.” Ruby said with a knowing grin on her face “There are 3 more books after this one, and they all just as long if not longer. Let me know when you’re done and I can bring you the next one. Actually-“ Ruby said, suddenly leaning over the bed and grabbing Killians phone from the far side table. Killian wasn’t sure if she even realized she was shoving her breasts directly in his face, her low cut top giving him quite a view all the way down her shirt. He desperately tried not to look and blushed profusely as he turned his head and scratched behind his ear. However Ruby either didn’t seem to notice or simply didn’t care as she grabbed Killians phone, straightening to stand, and quickly began pressing its buttons. Her red stiletto nails making a clicking noise as her fingers flew across the keypad faster than Killian had thought possible. “There.” She said leaning back over the bed and returning the phone to its resting place, once again shoving her breasts directly into the pirates face. “Just text me if you need anything.” She said with a smile and a flirtatious wink. 

“That’s alright lass, you’ve done plenty.” Killian assured her, his face still a little red. 

“It’s not for you it’s for Emma.” Ruby said to him, much more seriously than before “She told me to look after you while she’s gone.” Killians heart gave another tug at the comment but he just gave her a smile  
and a nod of appreciation. “Well, I’d best get back to helping Granny. Let me know when you’re hungry or just want some company, I get board downstairs.” Ruby said as she flipped her long hair over her shoulder. 

“I will, and I much appreciate the hospitality lass.” Killian said with a sincere smile. 

“You know me, hospitalities my middle name.” Ruby smirked as she exited the room. 

Killian sighed. That lass was surely something else. But she was Emma’s friend and quite nice even if her forwardness made even him uncomfortable at times. 

Killian looked back down at the book in his hands. He turned it over, knowing that many books of this realm had a brief description on the back but he was disappointed to see only other people’s opinions, claiming it was the best book of all time (something he sincerely doubted.) Killian sighed. In all honesty romance novels were not exactly his thing. He would much prefer a mystery or good adventure story any day. However it was better than nothing, and if there was magic involved as Ruby had said he could hopefully at least get a good laugh from reading it. 

Killian settled in, making himself comfortable in the bed as he opened the book, turned to the preface page, and began to read. 

I had never given much thought to how I would die — though I had reason enough in these last few months — but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this...  
—————

To his upmost surprise Killian found himself somewhat enjoying the book. He was pleased to find that there were at least some breaks in the romance for action. The story was told from the point of view from a young lass named Bella Swan. (Killian had briefly marveled at that similarity.) It detailed her account of moving to a new town and falling in love with a lad named Edward, who turned out to be a vampire. The more that Killian read the more the Edward character shared of himself with the Swan girl, and the more and more Killian saw the striking number of similarities between himself and the vampire character. 

Edward had had an unnaturally long life. He had stopped aging due to some sort of Vampire magic at the age of 17 and had been alive for over a hundred years, with no one but his adopted family for company. Killian had obviously stopped aging whilst he was in Neverland and was now over 300 years old, and although he would never think of his crew as family, they had been his only constant companions during those years.

Another similarity Killian saw was that of Edwards father figure, a vampire named Carlisle, as well as the relationship he had with his so called son. While reading about them Killian had instantly been reminded of himself and Liam. Carlisle was the head of the vampire family and he lead through example. He seemed to have a firm sense of right and wrong as well as a strong desire to look out for, and initially do what was best by his family, as well as other people. These were all qualities Killian had known his brother to have. Edward looked up to and seemed to greatly admire the man he called his father, and Killian got the sense that the vampire felt himself lowly in comparison, much like Killian had always felt in comparison to the great wholesomeness that had been his brother Liam. 

Thirdly, the Edward vampire had his own Swan. As Killian continued to read he began to see that the vampire had been just as irrevocably affected, and thusly was just as in love with, his own Swan as Killian was with his beloved Emma. 

However, the aspect of the Edward character that Killian found himself relating to the most was the mans own darkness and desperation for the light. As Killian continued to read he began understanding the Edward character more and more, even when the Bella character did not. Killian fully understood the constant pull (or thirst as the book would say) of the darkness. He understood how easy it was to simply let it overcome you and give in to your darkest impulses and desires. He understood the hard work and dedication it took to come back into the light. The want to change. To be a better man. A man deserving of a Swans love. Even if the darkness was always still there, at the edges, and always have the possibility of destroying everything you now held near and dear all over again. Killian recognized the hatred and self loathing Edward obviously had for himself as well as the constant battle of his own inner demons. The belief that you are a monster, undeserving of a happy ending with a beautiful Swan. Killian knew because he faced the same things within his own self everyday. 

Killian just understood the vampire in a way he had not anticipated. 

The book was long and it actually took quite a bit longer to read it than Killian had first assumed. This was primarily due to all the references of this world that he did not yet understand. With every phrase of word he did not understand he would send a txt to Ruby and have to wait for a response so that he could continue. However after a while he was able to pick up most of what was going on. 

Killian found himself rather enjoying the book, even if it was a bit idiotic with its ridiculous and utterly inaccurate descriptions of vampires. There was no werewolves as Ruby had originally told him but perhaps they were in one of the following novels. 

Despite their love and obvious passion for one another the vampire bloke never did take the human girl to bed (something seen in most romance novels Killian had read in the past.) Killian found himself grateful for that on several accounts. One of which was because such a union would more than likely end in the poor lass’s death. The other was the fact that Emma was still in New York and it felt like a lifetime since Killian had had her intimately and he was on edge as it was. His need for her had always bubbled just below the surface and only seemed to grow with the distance between them. Even so, Killian noted that the author did seem to know how to write romance even without the love making. The sexual tension between the vampire and his Swan was still palpable, and Killian could practically feel it himself whilst he read their tale. Sadly this only seemed to achieve in making Killian rather tightly wound. His desire for his Swan pooling in his belly almost constantly throughout the day and night as he continued to read. 

It was 2 days before Emma and Henry were set to return home and Killian was on the phone with his Swan for the first time since they had last spoken the night after he got home from the hospital. (She had been too busy to talk to him the previous day.) Killian had finished the Twilight tale just shortly before his Swan had called and he decided he would wait till morning to ask the wolf girl for the next novel. Besides, he was enjoying talking to Emma much more than reading the magical love story Ruby had given him. Thinking about Ruby made Killian think of something.

“You sent the wolf girl to in your steed just to torture me didn’t you?” Killian asked, already knowing Emma’s answer, because of course she had. 

“Just a little.” Emma said, a clear smile in her voice “What did she do?”

“She pressed her bloody chest directly into my face, on several different occasions.” Killian groused in irritation and embarrassment at the memory and Ruby’s lack of understanding for ones personal space. 

Emma laughed (she knew she could count on Ruby to be...well, Ruby.)

“Hmm bet you enjoyed that.” Emma said and Killian could practically hear the smirk on her face. 

“No Swan, I didn’t. It was particularly uncomfortable on my part.” He told her still slightly embarrassed by the whole situation. 

“Yeah I bet it sure was uncomfortable.” Emma teased seductively making Killian groan, his pants becoming tight from just the tone of her voice. 

“Swan don’t do that. Do you know how badly I need you? It’s been days, darling. Days.” Killian emphasized as if they had spent a lifetime apart. “And right now I’m stuck in bed with nothing to do but read bloody romance novels and you’re not here to let me ravish you properly. It’s causing quite a problem for me.”

Emma simply snorted at his comment “Maybe Ruby can take care of it for you. She did promise me she was willing to help you with anything you needed.” She said, her voice thick with sarcasm. 

Killian took his phone away from his ear and looked at it, as if by doing so he could look upon her face, try to see or understand why in the world she would say such a thing. It was totally unbelievable. Emma thought it was like that did she? Well, she was sorely mistaken. Killian shook his head before returning the device to his ear.

“No, Swan. No. Don’t even joke about something like that. There is no one else I want but you. No one. You are it, for me love. Do you not bloody get that by now?” Killian said seriously, almost even slightly exasperated by the end. How could she not get just how gone he was for her? He wanted to tell her that he loved her. That he always had loved her and that he always would. But he wouldn’t do it over the phone. Killian wanted to look into her beautiful green eyes when he told her so she could see how much he meant it. He also still wasn’t quite sure if a confession like that now wouldn’t send her running, and he’d be damned if he lost her because of his own overeagerness. But in that moment his still needed her to understand the depths of his feelings for her. That she couldn’t make jokes about him fucking her attractive friend because he knew that if she let that thought worm itself into her head, it would latch on. It would fester and grow and she would use it as an excuse push him away again, and Killian just couldn’t let that happen. 

“Whatever.” Emma said but Killian could hear the smile in her voice again. “So if I’m the only one who can help you out with this particular problem then... what are you wearing?” Emma purred the last part seductively and Killian instantly smiled as he felt himself growing even harder. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He said heatedly. 

“Perhaps I would.”

A half hour later Killian collapsed back onto the pillows, fully sated thanks to his amazing Swan princess and drifted off to sleep. 

“Bloody hell!” Killian yelled as something thick and slightly heavy landed on his chest, instantly waking him from sleep. He shot up to a sitting position with a start, his hook ready for an attack. His heart was racing and eyes were still bleary as he looked around the room for the threat, only to find Ruby there with her trademark wolffish grin on her face. 

“Order up for Captain Hook.” She said, her grin getting larger at Killian’s obvious annoyance. She held up a brown paper sack that Killian could only presume was his breakfast. 

“Fuck lass!” Killian grumbled as he collapsed back onto his pillows, the annoyance clear on his face from being awoken in such a way. 

“Love to.” Ruby responded cheekily, her wolffish smirk growing even wider as she gazed salaciously at Killian’s bare chest. 

The pirate rolled his eyes and quickly reached for his discarded shirt on the bed beside him. “Don’t you ever knock?” He grumbled as he pulled the shirt over his head. 

“Where’s the fun in that.” Ruby told him with a shrug as she handed him the bag and plopped herself down at the foot of his bed, her own coffee in hand. 

Killian just sighed as he snatched the paper sack from her hands and took a large drink from the coffee he found inside. 

“And I brought presents!” Ruby said as she grabbed what had awoken Killian so violently mere moments ago from where it had slid off Killian and onto the bed. She held it up so the pirate could see that it was in fact a book, probably the second part of the vampire love story. Killian noted that it was much similar to its predecessor. It was thick, black and had simple silver script on its cover. Only this time it had a picture of ruffled white and red tulip and the title read ‘New Moon’. 

Killian raised an eyebrow at Ruby over his coffee cup “I’m assuming this is the one with the werewolves then?” He asked, his annoyance at her subsiding just a bit with every sip of his coffee. 

“What on earth gave it away?” Ruby said, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she tossed the book back at him. 

“Thanks lass.”

“No problem!” Ruby said as she got up and sauntered out of the room “I’ll be up at lunch, enjoy!”

Killian took his time finishing his breakfast and morning coffee. Then he hobbled his way to the bathroom to relieve himself and take a shower. Whale had told him that it was crucial not to get his cast wet so Killian used a plastic trash bag he found under the sink to wrap it in before he stepped underneath the hot water. He almost slipped and broke his bloody neck on three separate occasions due to his awkward mobility and the showers slick floors but he managed to get himself cleaned up and his hair washed. He finally stopped the shower dried off, unwrapped his cast (which thankfully had not gotten wet) and put on a fresh pair of clothes. Then he hobbled back into the living area, grabbed his new book and sank down into an armchair by the window to read. 

I felt I was trapped in one of those terrifying nightmares, the one where you have to run, run till your lungs burst, but you can’t make your body move fast enough...  
———————————

Several hours later, Killian was staring at the wall, feeling completely gutted. The vampire bloke had left his Swan. 

The character had said that it was because he no longer loved her, or some nonsense equivalent to that, but Killian knew that was just an excuse. He knew because he understood the vampire. Bloody hell he practically was the vampire in some ways. Just previously to the him leaving the poor girl there had been a sequence where the Swan lass had been attacked, and badly hurt do to another vampire in her loves family. Killian knew that this is was the real reason why the vampire left her. He was trying to protect her. He was leaving her for her own good. 

In theory the actual characters of the mediocre book meant very little to Killian. It was just a fiction one read to pass the time. As Ruby had said, reading it was better than doing nothing. However the feelings and doubts that the book brought up in Killian were anything but a fiction. 

Killian began to think about the vampires sacrifice. Giving up the woman he loved as dearly as Killian loved his own Swan, in order for her to have a life free of him and the darkness that surrounded him. In order for her to be safe. Safe and happy. As Reginas own life had proven, villains don’t get happy endings, and Hook had been the worst villain of them all. He had killed many a man in his pursuit of revenge and hadn’t batted an eye in doing so. He knew that somewhere out there, there were many who might want to seek their own revenge on Captain Hook. Killian shuddered with the realization that the best way one could seek revenge on him was through Emma herself. His own life meant little to him in comparison to hers. 

Killian knew that his Swan was strong and could handle anything, but she shouldn’t have to. She shouldn’t have to pay any sort of price just because Killian loved her. 

There was also the fact that Emma was far, far to good for Killian. He had always known this and he had been doing his absolute damndest to be a better man for her. But did that really matter? She deserved a true hero. Someone good, strong and virtuous, not a villainous pirate. Perhaps the vampire was right. Maybe leaving was the best thing for both of their Swans. 

The mere thought of leaving Emma made Killian practically collapse from pain. No. He couldn’t do it. He was a selfish bastard for it but he needed her. He couldn’t live without her, not anymore. Not after getting so close to claiming her love as his own. 

But what if she’d be better off? The small voice in Killian protested. Don’t you love her enough to leave for her own good? 

Killian’s inner turmoil continued as he continued to read, no longer paying much attention to the words. He kept warring with himself about what was truly best for his Swan. He kept searching for the strength the vampire had to leave her for her own good. 

—————————

“Hey there sailor.” Killian heard an enchanting voice say, pulling him from the grogginess of sleep. He slowly opened his eyes to meet a sea of emerald green. 

Emma. 

She was here. She was here in his room, smiling down sweetly at him, her soft locks hanging down like a curtain of gold. 

“Swan?” Killian croaked, his voice horse with sleep, and still thinking he may be dreaming. She wasn’t supposed to be home until tomorrow afternoon. What was she doing here? And so early in the morning? It couldn’t be much past sunup. He should know, for he was a habitual early riser. So for her to be here waking him up was an utter shock to him to say the least. 

“Good morning sleepy head.” Emma laughed lightly as Killian sat up in bed but before she could say anything more Killian reached up, tangling his fingers into her hair and yanked her down, kissing her with such unbridled love and glee to see her they both practically giggled into the kiss.

“Looks like someone’s happy to see me.” Emma laughed as she rested her forehead against Killian’s when he finally freed her lips. 

“What are you doing here love? I was not expecting you until the morrow.” He asked. 

“You didn’t call. I was worried.” Emma said, her face showing concern. 

It was true. Killian hadn’t called the previous night. His thoughts were still in a jumbled mess thanks to that bloody book.

“Aye, love I’m sorry. I must have fallen asleep.” Killian said. Emma just quirked her head at him, hearing the half lie, but she didn’t push it, which Killian was glad for at the moment. Having her here in his arms again was making it even harder to think about leaving her. He knew it would be for the best but he also knew he would never have the strength. 

“Actually we finished a lot quicker with everything than I thought we would.” Emma was saying “And well, we both wanted to come home. So we drove through the night.” She finished with a smile and despite the fact that Killian should be upset that his Swan forgone sleep just to get home, he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Not when she was here, with him again. “And of course I had to come and save my invalid boyfriend.” Emma said with a laugh. Stretching out her hands and shaking her shoulders, preparing to use her magic. 

Killian pulled away the covers with a flourish, showcasing his casted foot propped up on a pillow. “If you would be so kind to do the honors love.” He said smirking at her. 

Emma closed her eyes in concentration. A white glowing light soon began emitting from her fingers as they hovered over his cast, soon bathing his entire foot in its heavenly glow. When the light finally faded Killian saw that his cast was gone as well as the pain in his ankle. He quickly jumped to his feet finding he was perfectly healed and hauled Emma to him. She giggled as he kissed her passionately, trailing kisses down her pale throat. 

“You’re a bloody marvel love.” Killian said between kisses. He was about to push her back onto his bed and finally have his way with her like after their near week apart. However thats when noticed the book on his nightstand. 

“Are, are you reading Twilight!?” Emma laughed, pulling away from him and gesturing to the stack of books on his beside table. 

“Aye love’” Killian grimaced, not wanting to be reminded of that bloody book, or his own inner turmoil, especially not at this moment. “Ruby gave them to me, I had been wanting something to read while I waited for my beautiful savior to come home and heal me.” He said with a flirtatious smile as he tugged her to sit on the bed with him. Emma just rolled her eyes, but she smiled back at him but followed. 

“Ruby reading Twilight? Why does that not surprise me?” Emma laughed again with a shake of her head. 

“Aye, Love. They did remind me of her kind of tale.” Killian admitted with a smile “So...have you read them.” He asked nervously, scratching behind his ear.

Emma snorted “Yeah, I think every young adult in the world has read them. They were like, super popular a few years back and I wanted to know what the all hype was about. I always listened to audiobooks while on long stakeouts so I gave them a try. They weren’t exactly my type of book but they were okay.”

“I have to admit they are a bit moronic.” Killian agreed making Emma laugh but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Emma looked at him suspiciously as he avoided her gaze.

“Killian are you okay?” She asked when he wouldn’t look at her. 

“I’m fine love.” He said all too quickly. It was a lie and he knew his Swan would see that. He didn’t know why he even bothered trying to lie to her in the first place. 

“Killian.” Emma pressed. 

Killian sighed “It’s nothing really Swan it’s just...those books got me thinking, that’s all.” he admitted. 

“TWILIGHT got you thinking?” Emma repeated incredulously. 

“Aye love, well not exactly Twilight, the second tale, Full Moon or whatever it’s called.”

“Okay... what about?” Emma asked still clearly confused how something a silly as Twilight could effect her boyfriend this much. 

“Just me and this Edward Cullen fellow have a bit in common.” Killian said, looking up at her nervously as he raised scratched behind his ear once more. 

“What? Killian, that’s ridiculous. He’s like an 18 year old sparkly vampire.” Emma reminded him. 

“108, actually.” Killian corrected her quietly but then louder to her “You really don’t see the similarities?” He asked peering over at her. 

“I really don’t even remember that much about it.” Emma admitted “I do remember me and the main chick had the same last name though.” 

“Aye, Love, that you do. That was in fact one of the similarities I mentioned. Both I and Edward have our amazing Swans.” He smiled a bit sadly at her. 

“What other similarities are you talking about then?” Emma asked with a tilt of her head. Killian was really acting strange and she didn’t know what he was so upset about. It was just a teens romance novel. 

Killian suddenly rose and began pacing in front of her, glad to see that the movement didn’t hurt. “Other than the fact that we’ve both had extremely long lives and that this Carlisle fellow reminds me so much of Liam it actually hurts-“ Killian said quickly as he continued to pace, refusing to look at Emma until his voice momentarily broke at the mention of Liam. Emma saw the broken look on his face but he quickly shook his head and began pacing again “We both have darkness Swan. Deep, powerful, overwhelming darkness. Darkness that threatens to take away everything we love at all times. I know we haven’t talked about it in a great while, but I’ve done things. Many things that I am not proud of. I’ve made enemies in many realms. Hurt many men. Taken many lives. All in the pursuit of revenge. What if one of many people I’ve wronged comes after me? What if they were to come after you?-“ Killian choked again glancing at Emma but then went on before she could say anything. “What if I’m kidding myself and I can never escape my past or the darkness that surrounds it? Edward left his Swan in order to protect her from what he was. A monster, a villain... maybe I should be trying to do the same...” He finally said as he stopped pacing and sat back onto the bed, hanging his head in defeat. His heart nearly broke at the mere thought of leaving his beautiful Swan and savior, but he didn’t know how else to do right by her. She deserved so much better than him. A life free of darkness and the constant threat of villains. A life that he could not provide her with. However he also knew himself and he knew that he would rather die than be parted from her side ever again. The only way he would leave was if she ordered him to, because he would do anything for her.

“So you’re just leaving?” Emma accused angrily and Killian looked up at her to see her face marred in anger, tears forming at the edges her beautiful green eyes. 

Killian reached up and stroked her cheek, wiping away a tear. He knew he shouldn’t touch her, he was trying to find the strength to leave her after all but the instinct to help sooth her pain was stronger than his own weak will. Emma flinched at his touch, trying to pull away but Killian held her face tightly in his hand. “No, I’m not. That’s the problem.” He said, looking her in the eye, her walls clearly visible. He needed her to see him for what he really was. A weak and selfish man. A man she shouldn’t want because he could only cause her pain in the long run.

Killian saw his Swan soften for just a moment at his words but then her walls went back up and she hardened. She shook him off her and crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t understand Hook.”

Killian flinched at the sound of his moniker on her lips. He had been just Killian to her for a while and hearing her calling him Hook again hurt more than he was expecting it to. “You deserve so much better than me Emma.” He began “You are pure light and beauty where I am nothing but a broken down pirate with a drinking problem. My life has always been surrounded by darkness and that darkness has always destroyed the ones I love...” he trailed off softly his eyes going distant, but then he turned to her again. He once again reached out for her face, forcing Emma to look him in the eye despite her trying to pull away from him. “I want to save you from that fate. But that would mean letting you go and I just... can’t. I don’t think I have the strength anymore. I know what it’s like to live without you. I did it for over a year, and its NOT something I would be able to live through again.” He told her sternly, his blue eyes boring into her green depths. 

“Then what is this about? Are you trying to get me to leave you?” Emma demanded, still angry. 

“Maybe I am...” Killian sighed softly his own heart once again breaking at the thought of being without her. What he had told her had been the truth. He knew what it was like to live without her and he knew that was not a pain he would be able to endure again, not unless it was what she wanted. In which case he would somehow find a way to do it, for her. 

Emma glared hard at him for a long moment as Killian continued to hang his head in his hand waiting for her to say the words that would end him. 

“Exactly how far did you get in that book?” 

Killian looked up in shock. That was certainly the last thing he had expected his Swan to say. “Uh...The Swan girl was planning on going to the movies with her friends, why?” He asked utterly confused. 

Emma just huffed and reached for the second of the two novels stacked by his bed. She opened it to the back and began flipping pages frantically. “All of this because of fucking ‘Twilight’. This is by far the stupidest...” Emma continued to grumbled under her breath as she continued to flip through the pages, Killian watching her. “Here.” She finally said thrusting the book back into Killian’s hands and stabbing her finger at the text. “Read it.” She snapped at him. 

Killian looked down in confusion, seeing that it was a chapter near the end that he had not gotten to yet. He also noticed that on the page was a conversation between Bella and Edward. Edward was telling Bella how sorry he was for leaving, how much he loved her, and how he would never leave her again. Killians mouth dropped open into a small “o” and he looked back up at his Swan. She was still fuming but the tears in her eyes had cleared and she appeared to now be more exasperated than anything else. 

“Edward comes back?” Killian asked quietly still a bit stunned at the rather sudden turn of events, for both himself and the characters in the book.

“Mmhmm. Keep reading.” Emma snapped folding her arms over her chest as she glared at him in annoyance. Killian sheepishly looked back down at the page and continued to read. The vampire was telling his Swan how wrong he had been for leaving her. How it had only succeeded in hurting them both. How much he had regretted it and how the Swan girl hadn’t been in any less danger (she’d possibly been in even more) with him gone so it had only accomplished making them both miserable in the end. 

Killian looked back up at Emma, a now even more sheepish expression on his face. “Oh...” he said as he put the book down and scratched behind his ear as his face turned a bit red. 

Gods, he was an utter fool. He had been so spun up in the bloody book and his own misery he hadn’t even finished it. Nor had he ever once considered how Emma might feel if he left. He saw now that leaving for his Swans own benefit would only do the same amount of good as it had the vampire and his Swan, and that was of course absolutely none. 

“You get it now?” Emma asked him sharply. 

“Aye, I think I do.” Killian said, still looking down in embarrassment. 

“Good.” Emma replied. Then she finally sighed and dropped her arms that had been tightly crossed over her chest. She reached out for Killians hook and took it in her hands, pulling it into her lap and stroking it just like she would do with his hand. “Hey,” She said, tugging at his arm a little so that he would look at her. When he did Killian no longer saw the anger and hurt that had been in her eyes before. Now he saw nothing but understanding and some other emotion he dare not name. Emma reached for the book he had laid next to him and held it up for him to see. “This is just a silly book. It’s not real.” She said gently “I get why you feel so connected with it, but don’t for a minute think that it means anything, or that it’s in any way a guide to how you should live your life. A lot of fucked up shit happens in these books and you need to just take it with a grain of salt.” 

“Aye love, I know but... wasn’t I once just a character in a book for you as well?” Killian asked. He wanted to believe what she said but he still had his doubts. Even if the vampire had returned to his Swan. 

Emma thought on that a minute, pulling him closer to her as she did so “Okay, fine.” She said as she reached up to stroke the scar on his cheek “If somehow Bella, Edward and Jacob all turn out to be real too and we run into them one day, then you can have Edward himself tell you how stupid he was for leaving.” She said with a laugh so beautiful Killian felt his heart finally lighten entirely out of the heartbreak he had been feeling since they began this conversation. Emmas green eyes shown beautifully back at his and then she lurched forward and kissed Killian into oblivion before he could say anything more. 

————————

It was a year or so later when they were moving Killians things into their new house when Emma found them in one of the boxes she was unpacking. 

“Uh, Killian” she asked as she pulled out the first two Twilight novels “What are these?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. Killian sauntered over to her, a slightly sheepish expression on his handsome face. 

“Why those are called books love.” He said smirking at her as he snaked his arms around her waist and planted a kiss on her neck. 

“Uh hmm,” Emma mused “And what exactly are you doing with them?” She hoped he couldn’t hear the irritation and to be honest a bit of panic in her voice that she felt at seeing these books again, and the memories they brought up of the last time he had read them. 

“You have no need to worry love.” Killian said as he continued to kiss down her neck and shoulder. Emma wasn’t sure if he was trying to distract her from her find or if this was just his usual insatiableness. 

“Don’t I? You’re not reading these again are you?” Emma asked worriedly, pushing away the almost overwhelming desire for him that his lips were causing to pool in her belly. The last time he had read these books he somehow got it into his head that he should leave her (or more accurately that she should leave him) and it had scared the hell out of her until she had come to the realization that he had only said that because he hadn’t finished the book. If Twilight and New Moon were enough to get him to try and leave (which was a horrifying enough notion in itself) who knew what the other two books could do to him. 

Killian sighed, finally lifting his head from where he had been sucking a mark into his favorite spot between her shoulder and neck, and pulled the books from her hands. “No, I am not.” He said “I did finish reading the second one shortly after your return from New York but I haven’t read either of them or their accompanying tales since.” 

“Then why do you have them?” Emma asked, a worrying feeling still tugging at her. 

Killian walked over and placed the two books on his beloved bookshelf amongst his other favorite novels, then he turned to her. He enveloped her back into his arms only this time facing her and he stared down into the depths of her green eyes. 

“They are a reminder.” He said finally. 

“A reminder of what?” Emma’s voice was soft, getting a little lost in her pirates loving gaze. 

“A reminder that no matter what happens, we shall face it together. A reminder that ‘leaving for your own good’ is utter rubbish. A reminder of what can be forgiven when someone loves you.” He said. Then he leaned down to kiss her long and hard as he pulled her to the bed. He then laid her gently down across it, and got to work reminding his Swan of just how much he loved her in return.

**Author's Note:**

> So there it is. I know it’s a little rough around the edges, but I wanted to just get all my thoughts down and out and be done with this one. Please be gentle with this one and try not to judge me too harshly lol *nervously laughs and sends ridiculous story out into the internet to be judged*


End file.
